Monday, February 6, 2023

Know these 7 tips to make 2022 your best dating trip ever

In places, it feels like 2021 has flown by, whereas in others, it feels like a never-ending continuation of 2020. Let us be hopeful that 2022 will bring more health and happiness to the majority of the world.

Meanwhile, I'd like to just share a few words of caution about online dating in 2022.

Texting is the end of the first date

When you're chatting with someone on free dating apps and the person asks to switch to texting you directly on your phone (by offering or asking for a phone number), there's a 60% chance that the date will never happen again. ( Though not statistically significant, this is evidence-based on the experience of my wonderful clients over the last 10+ years).

Why is this happening? It is because someone has fallen off the grid, no texts were sent, no plans were finalized, someone sent some inappropriate texts and it turned into a pen-pal relationship …The story ……The list of such examples goes on. Work out your first date plans directly in the dating app. Feel free to exchange numbers once the date is scheduled, just in case, for example, "If you should need to contact me tomorrow, my number is __." Your conversations will be more likely to convert.

You are getting what you are permitted to get

If somebody treats you in a way you dislike, but you are accepting it, this is what you will be treated with. For illustration, let's say you like to talk on the phone, but someone you are dating only sends you texts. If you don't tell the other person how you like to be treated but simply reply to all text messages, then that's all you get. You shouldn't be ashamed to ask for what you need, which brings up the next question …

Let others what you need is not needed

I hear all the time, principally from women, that they are afraid to express their feelings of need and expectations to their (usually new) partner. The fear is mainly driven by the fact that they don't want to hear an answer they don't like. Assuming that your needs are not unreasonable, it's up to each other to see if they can deliver. If they can, fine. If they can't, then it's up to you to determine how important this is to you.

You can always up the dinner, but you can't take that back.

Go out for a drink, a coffee, or a walk on your first date. Then you can stay longer and go for a bite to eat if you're having a fantastic time. If you have arranged dinner and can't stand each other - no one would want that, but it happens - you'll only be able to do it over dinner. Wine bars are great - they usually have a good food list.

If you don't understand, just ask

I regularly get questions about what someone meant by what they had said. The truth of the matter is that I can make an educated guess, but eventually, only the person who said it knows. If you're not sure what something means, then ask the person who has said it.

No one is a psychic mind reader

You are attempting to get something out of your partner. You do not get that thing. Your partner doesn't get what you want unless you say it explicitly. No hints. Don't be circular. Use straightforward language.

Not finding Everything About 'Your Person' Is Not a Sign of Failure

In the process of dating, we have learned a lot about ourselves and the other person. It is necessary. Certain relationships work and not others. Many work, until They don't. But the ones that don't work are not failures, and neither are you. This is not a 'failed marriage' or a 'failed relationship'. Let's hope it's a unique experience that is positive (at the very least for a while) and cannot stand the test of time. Every single date or relationship is a learning experience that takes us one step closer to a lasting date.

Even if all of us implement just one of the seven tips outlined above, then the year 2022 should be a more fruitful year for dating.

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